What Kind of Rest Do You Need?
Not all repose is created equal
Check out my first post here to read more about the namesake of this newsletter and make a copy of the input/output tracking sheet if you so desire.
I have a few more consulting slots prior to 7/14! Then I’m closed until September. More information in the form here, I tend to work with people on the following:
Book proposals. I teach a class on this, sold a gift book off a proposal for six figures, and have helped people get agents and sell their own proposals. This is for personal essay collections, memoir, journalistic books, comedic gift books, etc.
Short satire—editing, brainstorming, work plans, personal rubrics, submission. I created the Online Satire Writing program for The Second City.
General creative process and organizational setup. See: this newsletter.
I’m open for projects that require 1-2 sessions. Write back with questions!
“I’m tired.”
How many times have you said that yourself in the midst of a long day with no end in sight, while dealing with a slew of irritating problems, many of them on screens, after a night of fractured sleep that seemed to only exhaust you more?
As a long-time insomniac (though currently in remission!!) and former competitive distance athlete, I’ve spent a lot of time being physically tired. For years on end when my alarm went off at 4:17am, the first thing I did was calculate when I would conceivably be able to go back to sleep. I treated naps like precious gems; I craved sleep on a cellular level.
But it took until I became a full-time writer to realize that sometimes, what I needed wasn’t more sleep—but a different kind of rest.
When putting together my “Write Like an Athlete” class (returning this October through Writing Co-Lab), I sat down and did some research on rest, particularly how to rest without literally sleeping. I found a very useful model, developed by Saundra Dalton-Smith, M.D., the author of Sacred Rest.
Here’s the basics on my class slide:
Here are the 7 kinds of rest Dalton-Smith identified, expanded with additional examples for creatives:
Physical Rest: this is what we normally think of when it comes to rest. Sleeping, lying in bed, stretching, hatha yoga, naps, elevating your feet after a long day of walking, foam roller, etc. Here’s a 16-min yoga video (with Adriene, of course) I really like for this type of rest. Do this before bed and you will SLEEP, baby!
Mental Rest: not constantly rolling from one task to another, taking a break from multiple deadlines in a day, not reading every link that comes across your social media, reading or watching TV that is calming and easy to take in, rather than challenging or something you’re studying to advance your own work. Dalton-Smith recommends things like journaling before bedtime (gratitude journaling) and taking breaks throughout the day rather the pushing through tasks. I’ve also found practicing the meditation “Leaves on a Stream” to be helpful when I find myself in a mental maelstrom. This is called “thought diffusion.”
Social Rest: I’ll admit, I thought this one was primarily about being a hermit (my favorite mode). But it actually refers to selectively spending time with the people around whom you can be your true self—no masking, performing, or energy expended trying to create an idealized image of yourself. I think of it this way: a friend you could fall asleep on the couch with while watching mindless reality TV in silence. I also generously practice my cultural right to Irish Exist any gathering when the time comes and I’m socialized out. And ever since seeing this Zelda meme from Totk, my husband and I have been using “just ascend!” as a phrase to mean one of us is overwhelmed and going to leave. “Hey, I’m gonna just ascend out, OK?”
Creative Rest: hey! That’s what this newsletter is about :) Taking a break from grinding on projects, trying a format or mode different from what you’ve been working on, looking at visual art if you’re a writer, seeing a play if you’re a fine artist, etc. For my creative rest this week, my brain is just constantly playing this video and song on repeat to the exclusion of most other thoughts. It makes it hard to get writing done, but it’s worth it.
Emotional Rest: this is your permission slip to ignore people who make you feel all sorts of ways! Go ahead and mute that former classmate who is feasting on the fruits of their labor while you feel famished by yours; Turn off all your text notifications for a few days; throw up an email away message. Emotional rest also means being authentic. For example, if someone says, “How are you?” rather than answering “good!” when you are on the verge of a catastrophic nervous breakdown, you can share a bit of honesty (without dumping your problems upon the innocent, of course).
Spiritual Rest: simply put: connecting on a deeper level with something larger than ourselves. Volunteering, religious practice, sacred reading, speaking kindly to a stranger in the park or store or on the street while your dogs are having an ecstatic meet and greet. Spending time in parks and nature also helps fulfill this type of rest.
Sensory Rest: this is hard for screen gremlins! Obviously don’t blast blue light into your frontal cortex right before you try to go to sleep, but also try practicing a bit of conscious sensory deprivation: walks without stimuli, phone on silent and screen down for the day (if there are certain calls you can’t miss, you can set it up so they still come through but nothing else *COUGH Democrat texts COUGH* does), having a wind-down ritual for work and screens. As I’ve gotten more and more into learning about fragrance (my new hobby), I often put on a YouTube video of a fragrance reviewer and then listen with my eyes shut trying to imagine the smells. Audiobooks are also beneficial here for me when my eyes are exhausted from screens.
Of all these seven, I personally struggle the most with mental rest and spiritual rest. Social rest is also something I’m newly grappling with as we emerge from the pandemic—I went out to an event or social gathering every night last week and spent most of the weekend feeling deeply depleted. I’ve made big improvements around physical, sensory, and emotional rest over the past three years following a nervous breakdown, and clearly I have a very big interest in creative rest (see: this newsletter).
So there you have it—the 7 types of rest! What type of rest are you most in need of right now? Historically, which of these do you struggle the most with?
Rest Reading List:
Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang
Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May
Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey of The Nap Ministry (highly recommend following on IG as well)
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ABOUT ME: My name is Caitlin Kunkel and I’m a comedy writer, long-time teacher, and creator of The Second City’s Online Satire Writing Program. I currently teach classes and consult on gift book proposals, modern adaptation, satire, and comedic literature. I co-founded The Belladonna Comedy and the Satire and Humor Festival, and I co-wrote the satirical gift book New Erotica for Feminists: Satirical Fantasies of Love, Lust, and Equal Pay, named one of the Top 10 Comedy Books of 2018 by Vulture.
Forgot to include this, but here's a quiz to see which kind of rest you may need most! https://www.restquiz.com/quiz/rest-quiz-test/
Yikes, I just realized I am deprived in all these areas of rest. Time to put the phone down and go take a nap!