25 Comments

I have insomnia! And to add to that, I don't remember the last time all three of my kids slept through the night. Last night, for example, my five year old woke me up at 3 am to inform me that Saturn's rings are made of gas. Then at 4am, I woke up to my three year old saying "I want to sleep on Mommy's head." But here's something that's been working for me if I have insomnia of because of internal causes: Pretend my kids have just asked me to build them a hot wheels course. And just FEEL how tired that makes me. Works like a charm.

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I love your Hot Wheels visualization! This is the kind of insomnia research we need.

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My sister and numerous friends sent this to me as well haha. Insomnia definitely becomes a personality trait! I have to say, that dark red drink in the glass looks so appealing...but wouldn't it make you have to pee??

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Lifelong insomniac here! Several years ago when it was REALLY bad I worked with a naturopath who determined that my cortisol was firing up at the wrong time -mostly in the middle of the night. We used supplements and acupuncture to re-calibrate and it made a big difference. No idea if that would be helpful for anyone else...

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That's so interesting! I have tried acupuncture in the past and had some success with that, I should definitely look into it again this cycle. I am waking up in sweaty panics, so something seems off.

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Ugh, sounds wretched. Hope you find some relief.

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How did you find your naturopath?

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Through my insurance!

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I’ve never related to something more. I briefly found respite with 5mg of melatonin on occasion this past summer when I was traveling but then it started giving me nightmares and sweaty wakeups and even just… not working. Lately the NYT Spelling Bee has been helping to get me sleepy because my brain usually starts shutting down when I’m looking for and failing to find the pangram. But if I happen to find it early on then I’m SOL and need to find a new game (or try to raw dog the sleep).

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I could write a novel about my journey with melatonin...currently clean, but debating hopping back on the train this cycle! I has experienced those same side effects, melatonin makes me dream about giant snakes consistently. I do the Spelling Bee when I wake up (usually to out at 15 words) but I should try at night! I never find the panagram so your issue won't be one for me :)

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Writing with insomnia - and functioning with insomnia - is probably the #1 biggest issue in my life right now that I’m trying to overcome. I’ve had insomnia for as long as I can remember but since COVID/WFH/looser routines it’s never been worse. I felt so seen reading this!

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While I hate hearing you're a fellow traveler on the sleep-deprived path, I'm really glad you felt seen here. I was so baffled when it first started happening to me and all the well meaning advice didn't work. It's a special kind of torture that can only be understood by experience. And yes, the past four years have been quite bad for me as well. May we both slip into a good cycle soon!

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It really is. And oh god, the well-meaning advice 🙃 Yes, I've tried melatonin and magnesium and valerian root and... everything. Wishing us all the rest!

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I think one of the biggest challenges with facing sleep disorders is well meaning advice: drink more coffee! Pinch yourself, it works for me! A smart person has probably tried these most basic of remedies with little to no benefit. It's a relief to hear from someone who is working through their challenges the best they can and hasn't found a silver bullet yet, although I do hope one exist for you and you find it soon. You're an inspiration to everyone who struggles with a health issue, but works through it until they find a solution that works for them.

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It took me years of trying all these well meaning steps before I realized insomnia was something totally different than "a bad night's sleep." It's a constant process of experimentation, periods of regularity, and then BOOM, you're off into the wilds of a cycle again. If I ever find a silver bullet I promise I'll share! For now, my mantra is "there's no need to be mad at yourself," trying to accept that it's out of my control for the time being. Thank you so much for your kind comment, it meant a lot to me!

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This sounds awful and I hope that this cycle comes to an end soon!

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This is such good advice, I’m sorry you’re able to give it only because of your suffering. My sis has narcolepsy and it’s horrendous

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Oof I've been trying to hit deadlines and show up for meetings and struggling with insomnia recently and these writing tips help so much. I love the idea of writing without the editor, but I think I've spent a bit too much time more in the delusional state recently. We've been in the midst of a heatwave where I live that doesn't help either though, sitting down to write feels like dragging my brain through a desert at midday after not sleeping all night. But honestly reading this was a relief, like it's so nice to not feel alone in the struggle. Thank you!

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Thank you for commenting! I'm so sorry you're going through this as well, and your desert image really resonated with me (I spent one insomnia summer in LA and felt so attacked by the sun I started to wear a sunhat and sun glasses at all times, inside and out). I hope your cycle breaks soon and you can return to edit all your delusions with clear eyes. When I do finally get a good night of sleep, I feel like a superhero!

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I completely relate to all of this--especially the audiobooks. I set the sleep timer, drift off, and then wake up as soon as the narrator stops talking. If I don't set the timer, I wake up with an AirPod embedded in my ear having missed four hours of the book. I hope we both get some quality REM soon.

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Sorry to hear you're a fellow traveler, Liz! Amazed your AirPod batteries can last that long, mine top out at 90 min.

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Mine last about 6 to 8 hours, I hope I didn’t just jinx myself 😂

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Caitlin! Entirely possible that this is boneheaded advice, but is there any reason you can't just roll with this admittedly annoying shift in your sleep cycle and work late at night when you've caught that second wind?

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Not boneheaded! I've done this in the past, worked from 2-6am, and I HAVE found that I can sleep better after that, since the pressure of being exhausted and trying to work is a bit relieved. In the earlier stages when you're trying to get out of it you're not supposed to work at night when you're trying to wind down, but once you cross the Rubicon into survival territory, work/sleep time become very fluid. I'm almost there again in this cycle!

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