Miss Manners recommends the polite response to someone’s awkward oversharing is “How nice for you” for anyone who isn’t in tears, and “Oh, dear,” for anyone who is.
I just have to say....that tarantula at the OG Warwick Public Library lives rent-free in my brain (as does how that building smelled). Her (!!) name was Helen!
While working out in a small clubhouse gym. A gentleman maybe 10 years my senior motioned for me to turn off my music while i was between sets before speaking to me about owls for the remainder of my workout.
Random facts about owls. The closest place to see them. The best place to see them. (Not the same place!) He was like a 5-year-old on a car ride home from a field trip to a nature center. Finally he got to the end of him knowledge, smiled and went back to lifting.
This reminded me of another random gym occurrence in the locker room of a big corporate gym back in like 2015 where a naked man went on a rant about "Not being able to say 'Merry Christmas' any more" when I returned from the shower. After silently listening to him for a few minutes, I shrugged and said "I'm Jewish." I'm not, but I think his whole naked body blushed. He quietly wished me a Happy Hanukkah as I left.
Sadly, a lot of my stories of people oversharing are straight white dudes thinking I'm going to agree with some prejudice they have.
My wife has that kind of a face. Last month while getting the car checked a man told her that he was teaching in the city on 9/11 and wasn't really shaken up by it and used the currently happening plane attack as a "who what when where why" prompt for his writing class
I love that these magpie details are so astonishing and wild that people are likely to think they come from your imagination (I would). That whole “stranger than fiction” this is real!
YOU SAID: I don’t write personal essay or memoir (largely because I cannot resist the feminine urge to embellish/lie whenever the opportunity arises), so on the surface, it would appear that everything I write is made up.
"Darling, don't you know how boring the truth is?" EMBELLISH AWAY!!!!
Not exactly one specific thing, but a whole essay of mine is about how I went shopping one day and it turned out the shop (which I’d just visited a few days ago??) was in ruins and I made friends with a weird security guard who told me his life story and for some reason saw fit to invite me inside the carcass of the store and let me see the offices (which were presumably off-limits), just because he liked me. Link to the thing: https://www.practicespace.blog/p/no-16-on-talking-with-strangers
That story about the guy who drowned is WILD (and very appropriately punctuated with exclamation points) (!!!!!!!)
I hate writing this but LOL, I literally laughed out loud. LLOL.
Recently, while getting a pedicure (in New England, so put on the thickest Boston accent you can think of), I had this exchange:
Woman: Oh beautiful! Orange for fall!
Me (ignoring the fact it was bright pink): Yeah, I'm ready for the cool weather.
Woman: Oh, me too.
*beat*
Woman: My younger brother just died.
Me: Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
Woman: Yeah, I know, thank you, that's why I've been crying.
Me: (not realizing she was crying) I'm sorry, I was wondering what was going on.
Woman: Yeah, we're having a celebration of life ceremony for him tonight.
Me: That's lovely!
Woman: I don't believe in it. He had a shitty life, there's nothing to celebrate.
Me:
Woman: Hold on, my motha's calling.
*beat*
Woman: Yeah, hi, Ma... WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE HALL CAN'T HANDLE CONFETTI?
Strangers are the best!
Miss Manners recommends the polite response to someone’s awkward oversharing is “How nice for you” for anyone who isn’t in tears, and “Oh, dear,” for anyone who is.
I just have to say....that tarantula at the OG Warwick Public Library lives rent-free in my brain (as does how that building smelled). Her (!!) name was Helen!
While working out in a small clubhouse gym. A gentleman maybe 10 years my senior motioned for me to turn off my music while i was between sets before speaking to me about owls for the remainder of my workout.
Random facts about owls. The closest place to see them. The best place to see them. (Not the same place!) He was like a 5-year-old on a car ride home from a field trip to a nature center. Finally he got to the end of him knowledge, smiled and went back to lifting.
This reminded me of another random gym occurrence in the locker room of a big corporate gym back in like 2015 where a naked man went on a rant about "Not being able to say 'Merry Christmas' any more" when I returned from the shower. After silently listening to him for a few minutes, I shrugged and said "I'm Jewish." I'm not, but I think his whole naked body blushed. He quietly wished me a Happy Hanukkah as I left.
Sadly, a lot of my stories of people oversharing are straight white dudes thinking I'm going to agree with some prejudice they have.
My wife has that kind of a face. Last month while getting the car checked a man told her that he was teaching in the city on 9/11 and wasn't really shaken up by it and used the currently happening plane attack as a "who what when where why" prompt for his writing class
Thanks for the shoutout, Caitlin!
I love that these magpie details are so astonishing and wild that people are likely to think they come from your imagination (I would). That whole “stranger than fiction” this is real!
Great newsletter topic! I'm trying to think of things I've been told by strangers because I, too, must have that kind of face.
YOU SAID: I don’t write personal essay or memoir (largely because I cannot resist the feminine urge to embellish/lie whenever the opportunity arises), so on the surface, it would appear that everything I write is made up.
"Darling, don't you know how boring the truth is?" EMBELLISH AWAY!!!!
Not exactly one specific thing, but a whole essay of mine is about how I went shopping one day and it turned out the shop (which I’d just visited a few days ago??) was in ruins and I made friends with a weird security guard who told me his life story and for some reason saw fit to invite me inside the carcass of the store and let me see the offices (which were presumably off-limits), just because he liked me. Link to the thing: https://www.practicespace.blog/p/no-16-on-talking-with-strangers
A belated thank you thank you THANK YOU for the Do It (or Don't) shout out. I'd love to know if any of the strategies are working for you!
Not only can you take your placenta home with you, but some mothers like to... eat it!
Beautiful 🩵